He won’t be self isolating as he is now taking part in a new trial - how convenient

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/global-health/science-and-disease/coronavirus-news-covid-cases-lockdown-deaths-nhs-app/

I know a couple of people that really can’t cope with moving stairways or elevators.

An old link but the same concern
140,000 people, no social distancing a day before restrictions are removed. Following in the footsteps of the football ⚽️ and with numbers of positive cases now at 40,000 a day.

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2021/jun/24/british-grand-prix-to-take-place-in-front-of-140000-crowd-at-silverstone

Would you like to be there?

Haven’t seen this on National TV so apologise if others have!

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/jailed-pc-21-years-service-21080250.amp

Do we still trust the police? Does it make us concerned 😟 or worried?

A mother, father and young son are visiting the circus. The elephants walk out into the circus ring and the little boy says to his mother, "What's that?"

"That's the elephant's tail," she replies.

"No, under the tail," says the youngster.

The mother is clearly embarrassed and says, "Oh, it's nothing."

The boy turns to his father and repeats the same question. His father looks and says, "That's the elephant's penis, son."

"So, why did mum say it was nothing?" asks the boy.

The father draws himself up to his full height and says, "Son, I've spoiled that woman."

Today in Wilko I was behind a man who was returning some items for a refund. Apparently his wife had already bought what was needed, so he was returning unopened his items. He also had the receipt. The total value was £32.
The checkout woman walked away with the receipt , maybe to talk to a manager, then came back. She said, "it's shop policy, but we cannot give refunds over £30". So the man said, "ok, I will keep these paintbrushes, then you can refund me for the rest". She said, "I'm not allowed to do that, I have to refund the whole receipt.". So he said, "what do I do, how do I get a refund?" She said, "You have to go to our larger Swanley branch, they will give you a full refund".

I can imagine now him going up to the customer service desk in Swanley and being told, "you bought these at Orpington, you have to go there for your refund".

A paper bag goes to the doctor and complains of feeling really ill. The doctor does a lot of tests and tells the paper bag to come back next week for the results.

The following week the paper bag is extremely distressed to be told by his doctor that he is HIV positive.

"But how can this be" he cries, "I'm only a paper bag".

"Well have you had unprotected sex in the last year" asks the doctor."

No, how can I?? he shouts "I'm only a paper bag"

"How about sharing needles, giving blood, anything like that"

"I've said to you before" the paper bag sobs "how can I, I'm only a paper bag"

"Ahhhh" says the doctor shaking his head sadly "as I suspected your mother must have been a carrier"

Claims it is a mild dose so far!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-57874744

Posted here as people come from all over to visit Bluewater.
A2 near Bluewater between Bean and Gravesend to close for weekend due to bridge replacement
https://www.kentonline.co.uk/dartford/news/a2-to-close-for-weekend-near-bluewater-250814/

Joe Biden has stated that Social Media sites should not be available for the spread of mis-information and disinformation.

Claiming that "The only pandemic we have is among the unvaccinated." Biden has described the people who were mis-informing the public about the value of vaccination as "killing people."

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-57870778

Due to a gradual increase in cases of the Beta (South African) variant, fully vaccinated people returning from France to both England and Wales will still need to quarantine for ten days from Monday. They will also need to be tested on days two and eight.

This will be contrary to the lifting of rules for similarly vaccinated travellers returning from elsewhere in Amber zones.

It, therefore, looks as though the government will be monitoring what is happening abroad and will be selective in how to deal with returning travellers even after the end of most Covid related restrictions.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-57869880

A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

"What's going on here?' he says.

"I'm think I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialling, his 4-year old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy!, Uncle Ted's hiding in your wardrobe and he's got no clothes on!"

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his best pal, totally naked, cowering on the wardrobe floor.

"You IDIOT!!!," says the husband, "my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked and scaring the kids!"

In the past and when doing online health tests, I've been asked what my activity level is, ie low, medium, high. I never know what to say. I walk rather than drive, do a lot of gardening, play sports on Wii fit - it's more energetic than you might think - plus do the usual housework etc.

Is there a website/chart that's a bit more specific than just a picture of someone walking/exercising?

Are you worried about the consequences

https://www.opendemocracy.net/en/ournhs/forget-the-spin-new-english-nhs-bill-is-all-about-cutting-our-right-to-healthcare/

Never seen force of water like this. The area looks like a war zone. Poor people.

https://www.itv.com/news/2021-07-15/six-killed-and-several-missing-in-major-german-floods

At 23:24 on Monday 5th July my wife said that she wasn't sure what was happening across the road as there were 2 cars and at least one person with a torch.
By the time I looked out there was just one car there, a mini.

As my neighbours opposite were away for a holiday, I was keeping an eye on their house, popping in, dealing with the post, opening and closing curtains etc..

As I went over to open the curtains on Tuesday 6th of July, I looked at the car parked there. It was a very smart vehicle, but the wheel arches at the front were missing. When I got back indoors, I had a look on my Ring doorbell recordings. I could see the mini, plus the car in front - also a mini.

The penny dropped. The car in the road had been stolen and cannibalised. So I called the police on 101, giving them the details.

This Tuesday, a week after my call, I rang 101 again. This time to ask if my previous call had been recorded by them as nothing has happened with the car, not even a "Police Aware" sticker.

I had spoken to my next door neighbour, who is more car savvy than myself. He told me that the car was worth between £30k and £35k.

So far the police have not been near the vehicle, they have not contacted me and appear not to be doing much to let the victim know his vehicle, whilst not intact, is in reasonably good condition. I am guessing, that he/she is probably quite heartbroken at "losing" their vehicle and would welcome news that it is comparatively safe. Similarly, the insurance company would be relieved.

Iver Heath and surrounding areas are covered by ANPR cameras. How easy would it be firbthe police to look up the time the car hit their cameras and check all other minis passing the same camera at a similar time. That would be a major clue to solving who stole it. Add to that any finger prints or DNA on the vehicle for ensuring a good prosecution. But there is nothing happening. I suspect that all the time the car has been abandoned it has been unlocked, so in theory anyone else could tamper with it!

I am very disappointed with Thames Valley Police over this matter.

Just read the ICO raided two properties and took away devices in their investigation into Hancocks whistle-blower. Some are saying this is a strike against free speech and that the public had the right to know about the affair. What do you think?

I've had a good few hours wandering around the gardens at Wisley.

The poppy was a beautiful purple colour which isn't reflected in the colour picked up by the sensor on my phone.

The butterfly was one of many to be seen wherever you were in the gardens.

I loved the rabbits, cut out of the trunk of a tree.

But one of the sweetest things was Mum Duck wandering around the cafe area with her 4 ducklings. She allowed them to eat out of my hand. No photographs of that, but a memory nevertheless.

I had spotted a Dahlia that I liked "Knockout". It looked lovely as I was wandering around. Unfortunately there were none in the Plant Shop so I couldn't buy any. I've now found a place online, so will probably be getting some soon.

Does anyone else get to Wisley at all?

There seems to be a shortage of these as I haven't been able to get them from Asda or Sainsburys or Iceland.
Has anyone else noticed this ? - or maybe it is just my area

Forgive me ".

Forgive me, if I sit and stare,

And I hardly know that you are there,

Forgive me if my shaking hand,

Will no longer do what I command.

Forgive me if my ageing brain,

Will not respond, and asks again,

Just what it is you want from me,

And why I am a `misery`.

Forgive me, if my older years,

Sometimes result in thoughtful tears,

Forgive me, if I drift away,

In memories of `yesterday`.

Forgive me, if my `slower` ways,

Bring you more, exasperating days,

I try to help, I really do,

But all I do, is hinder you.

Just sit with me, forget your task,

And hold my hand, that`s all I ask,

Just sit and talk, and listen too,

To what I want, to say to you.

For I am old, it won`t be long,

I soon will hear, the `angel`s song`,

And then your time, will be your own,

And maybe then, you will not frown.

Just sit awhile, and let me speak,

Before my voice, grows faint and weak,

Before my throat, gets sore and dry,

And just before, I start to cry.

Forgive me, that I ask of you,

Some of the things, you have to do,

Forgive me, for my stumbling walk,

And the slurring, sluggish way I talk.

Forgive me, if I `ramble on`,

Of better times, that have now gone,

Forgive me, if you cannot see,

How precious, - that you are to me.

Forgive me.

Mick.

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2021/jul/14/amazon-rainforest-now-emitting-more-co2-than-it-absorbs

The manager was in a bit of a quandary. He had to fire one of his employees strictly for financial reasons and was having a tough time deciding who it would be. Finally he had it narrowed down to either Debra or Jack, since they both had spouses in good positions and they would have the least trouble of all the employees financially. Instead of a coin toss, he decided that the first one to go to the water cooler would be the one who got the axe. Debra came in early that morning with a huge hangover from partying all night and getting no sleep, and naturally she goes straight to the water cooler to rehydrate.

The manager sighs and goes over to her. "Debra" he says, "I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off".

Debra looks at him and says "Well, could you Jack off? I've got a terrible headache".

On 19 and 20 July, MPs will debate the Nationality and Borders Bill. According to the Government, the Bill has three main objectives:

• To increase the fairness of the system to better protect and support those in need of asylum;

• To deter illegal entry into the United Kingdom, thereby breaking the business model of people smuggling networks and protecting the lives of those they endanger; and

• To remove more easily those with no right to be in the UK.

This debate will be the Bill's Second Reading, following its First Reading on 6 July.

I think we can still be proud of the foreign aid we are giving compared to these other countries.
The much larger countries below can’t compare, and look at the Canada and U.S. low figures.

After having their 11th child, an Irish couple decided that that was enough, as they couldn't afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children ...

The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive. A less costly alternative was to go home, get a large firecracker, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The husband said to the doctor: "B'Jayzus, I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me with my problem."

"Trust me, it will do the job", said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cracker and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count:

"1, 2, 3, 4, ?5," at which point he paused, and placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand.

This procedure also works, apparently, in New Zealand, and Tasmania.

There is a petition to make it a legal requirement when opening a new social media account, to provide a verified form of ID

This may upset some people 😃 😃

https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/575833?fbclid=IwAR0XLrTpP2CCDWbc7Czzf8EgWQkxOuqjT3vorWnGWFVxwm-9qOkpPZtuEOM

Bullying hurts

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMdVcsyFd/

I've discovered a way to keep the garden bug free .......build a nature garden for the grandchildren to see bugs and I guarantee you won't see any for about 3 months!! 🥴

https://www.facebook.com/JonathanPieReporter/posts/359339262219842

This guy is in bed with his wife when there's a rat-a-tat-tat on the door.

He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half three in the morning. Sod that for a game of soldiers, he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that" says his wife, so he drags himself out of bed, and goes downstairs.

He opens the door and this bloke is stood outside. "Eh mate" says the stranger, "can you give us a push??"

"No, hop it, it's half three. I was in bed" says the man and shuts the door. He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says "Dave, you are a twat. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the babysitter and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to hop it??"

So he gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts: "Eh mate, do you still want a push??"

He hears a voice cry out "Yeah please mate."

So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts: "Where are you?"

"I'm over here on the swings." came the reply

After a few years of married life, a man finds that he is unable to perform. He goes to his doctor, and his doctor tries a few things but nothing works. Finally the doctor says to him "This is all in your mind," and refers him to a psychiatrist.

After a few visits to the shrink, he confesses, "I am at a loss as to how you could possibly be cured." Finally the psychiatrist refers him to a witch doctor.

The witch doctor says, "I can cure this." He throws some powder in a flame,and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke.

The witch doctor continues "This is powerful healing, but you can only use it once a year ! All you have to do is say '123' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"

The guy then asks the witch doctor "What happens when it's over ?"

The witch doctor says "All you or your partner has to say is '1234' and it will go down. But be warned; it will not work again for a year!"

The guy goes home and that night he is ready to surprise his wife. So he's lying in bed with her and says "123", and suddenly he gets an erection.

His wife, sleepily, turns over and says... "What did you say '123' for?"

Five facts about You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You

1. You're so lazy You didn't read all the You's.

2. You didn't notice I put a Yoo.

3. You are now looking to find out.

4. You are laughing because you realise there is no 'Yoo' and you've been tricked.

5. You are going to
forward this to others who are like 'YOU'!😜😜

Angry parents have slammed a library service in London after a monkey costume with a fake penis was used to promote a children's summer reading challenge at the weekend.

An actor in a multi-coloured outfit, with genitalia and nipples, was brought out, as part of an event to encourage children to look at more books over the holidays.
The library, which is run as an arm of Redbridge Council called Vision, first responded to comments online about the penis with "if you have got it, flaunt it".

A traffic officer drew alongside a speeding car on the motorway.

As the officer peered through the driver's window, he was astounded to find that there was a young lady behind the wheel, knitting.

The policeman cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "Pull over!"

"No!" the girl yelled back, "Scarf!"

https://www.facebook.com/betty.yohannes.94/videos/1555363141522209

Red Arrows will be coming this way tonight for the Wembley flypast. RAF sticklers for being on time. Keep your eyes open!

West of Henley-on-Thames - 7.42pm

North of Maidenhead - 7.44pm

North of Slough - 7.46pm

Wembley Flypast - 7.48pm

They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & Sold to the tannery.......if you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor"

But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot......they "didn't have a pot to piss in" & were the lowest of the low

The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s:

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June.. However, since they were starting to smell . ...... . Brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting Married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it.. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water!"

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof... Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, "Dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way. Hence: a thresh hold.

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire.. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme: Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old. Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat.

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would Sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial.. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.

The country is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive... So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer.

And that's the truth....Now, whoever said History was boring?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/resources/idt-876f42ae-5e44-41c0-ba2d-d6fd537aadfe

Another serious crisis in the future according to a TV program if we --do not -- stop injecting our animals the antibiotics will have no effect in humans.
With a throwaway society, medications useless, global warming will the human race still exist in a 100 years?