Ok, I’m not usually one for going off on long rants on facebook but let’s face it, most of us have got more time on our hands than usual at the mo.
I’ll caveat this rant with…yeah I know I’m shouting into an echo chamber of mainly lovely, cuddly, like minded friends who don't need to hear my patronising waffle, but this is for the few that might. It’s probably not for YOU, YOU are probably ace.
I’ve also tried to keep it light and thrown in a few 90’s references ‘for the Dads’.
So. Let’s kick it.
Men! Hello. How you doooin’?
It just seems that a few of you having been losing the plot a bit on Twitter.
Following the awful murder of Sarah Everard, women started sharing their stories of street harassment on Twitter.
How did us chaps respond? We made #notallmen as the number one Twitter trend. FFS.
If you’re reading women’s posts about harassment, maybe try being like Mr Ice here.
Stop, Collaborate and Listen.
Before you jump in with a #Notallmen or Men get harassed too. Maybe ask yourself a few questions.
How often have you walked past a building site and had a group of female builders shout ‘nice ballbag!’?
How often do women stop you on your way to work to tell you’d look more handsome if you smiled at them? Or just screamed ‘show us yer dick’ across the road at you?
When you were walking home from school, how often did women in cars comment on your ‘sexy shorts’?
When it’s hot in your office, do you still keep your top shirt button done up, worried that the women might say that you’re gagging for it by flashing a bit of moob?
How often do you scan the crowd on the packed train to work, just to check that you’re not standing near one of those women who wants to rub her fanny against you, again?
I’m guessing that most of your answers were probably No’s.
So before you hit the reply button on a woman’s tweet, stop (Hammertime) and just assume that WOMEN KNOW IT’S #notallmen.
That’s just statistically obvious.
But there’s enough of us doing this shit for it to be a problem.
Yes, men get harassed too. Women know this too.
I can tell the tales of how I’ve had abuse hurled at me for the way I dressed (back in the goth days) or how I was mugged at night for my wallet and phone, or how many drivers of black cabs & white vans have greeted me with a cheery yell of “you fat c**t!”
But, guess what…re-e-wind…shocker…none of those abuses were from women! It was all men.
Fellas, you might reply with a well-intentioned ‘we get harassed too’ to show support or to empathise but, come on, that’s like hearing a woman complain about how much she spends on Tampax in a lifetime and us saying, “yeah, I know how you feel babe, I cut my finger last week and it cost me two quid for a box of plasters”. It’s just not on the same scale.
We (#notall) chaps can still generally go about our days blissfully unworried about the threat that women (#notallwomen) might pose to us.
If we’re in a pub (#notallpubs) and we have to go for a pee, we leave our drinks on the table, never thinking that a woman might slip some rohypnol in it.
We can get drunk at the house party afterwards, never worrying that if we crash out in the spare room, a woman might sneak in and pop a finger in us while we’re asleep and if she did, we might get blamed for it happening because we’d drunk too much.
We don’t tell men that in the summer that their vest & shorts combo makes them ‘look a bit slutty’, so they should expect to get hassled. Or not to ‘flaunt your curves’ in those skinny jeans.
We don’t say to men “You can’t go topless on the beach, it’s obscene and women won’t be able to control their natural urge to attack you”.
We don’t tell men not to walk across Clapham Common at night in case a woman, twice their strength, might leap out and try to murder them.
So come on men (#yesall), let’s ‘Man Up’ (#yesiknowthatsashitphrase) and admit that it’s us that’s causing this problem, not that women aren’t doing enough to stay safe.
