On their way to the church to get married, a young couple were involved in  a fatal car accident.
Being good the young couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.
While waiting, they begin to wonder: could they possibly get married in Heaven?
When St. Peter finally showed up, they asked him.
St Peter said: "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out" and he leaves them sitting at the Gate.
After three months, St Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. 
"Yes" he informs the couple " I can get you married in Heaven”.
"Great!" said the couple "But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?”
"You must be bloody joking" says St. Peter, red-faced with frustration, slamming his clipboard on the ground.
"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple”.
"OH, COME ON!" St. Peter shouted
"It took me three months to find a priest up here .....
Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?"

I am giving away all my hobby materials, as I no longer have the desire to do anything with them. It is a lot of work with very little recognition. I am extremely tired and have very little time to use them ...

Please don't ask any questions, as I can't handle talking about it anymore. Below is a list of materials available.

Serious enquiries only please.

Thanks for reading and understanding.

Pick up only.

1. Dustpan and broom

2. Sponges

3. Dusters

4. Mop and bucket

5. Window cleaner

6. Vacuum

7. Dishwashing liquid

8. Laundry detergent

9. Fabric softener

10. Laundry baskets

11. Toilet brush

12. Cleaning sprays

13. Scrubbing brushes

Private message me if interested...

The BBC are reporting that there are huge backlogs of licence applications.

Last week I filled out my compulsory age related re-licence application online.

As my council use driving licences as a proof of address when using the recycling centre, I withheld sending my old licence as I hadn't got a clue how long it would be before I could hold a licence in my hand.

On Monday my replacement licence dropped through my letterbox, it took 5 days, including a weekend.

If you need to contact the DVLA, do it online if you are able. Then you can ignore the news stories about delays.

(My old licence has been chopped in half and returned to Swansea, how long they take to destroy it is down to them.)

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-57916619.amp

because of this Woke statement.
https://www.benjerry.com/about-us/media-center/palestine-statement

This is interesting, and follows my line of thinking.
https://www.spectator.co.uk/article/who-cares-what-ben-jerry-s-think-about-the-israel-palestine-conflict-

Couple of things I read in the paper yesterday.
The EU are insisting on Spanish guards on both sides of the Spain - Gibraltar border.
Garages are being told they have to use the more expensive branded manufacturer recommended spare parts . They can no longer use cheaper spares, meaning drivers paying up to £100 higher prices.

It’s already worrying staff and we’re only just at the start of public responsibility

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-57836137

China

https://news.sky.com/story/underground-train-fills-with-water-as-part-of-china-suffers-heaviest-rain-in-1-000-years-12359980

I didn’t know this about Wedding Gifts given to royalty.

https://www.rd.com/article/prince-harry-meghan-markle-wedding-gifts/

Loads of charities gain.

Did you receive or write any?

I don't know how this will look on SL as the file I was given is 1 min 59 secs long and SL only displays 1 min 30 secs.

This is a demonstration of what robots can do at the moment, which is a whole lot more than I ever could.

I've just been told of a 3 minute video on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fn3KWM1kuAw

I am hearing rumbles and getting excited, BBC forecast thunderstorms from 2 pm but kept putting the forecast back,

This is spot on lol

At least 430 migrants crossed the English Channel to the UK on Monday - a new record for a single day - the Home Office has said.

The department said it was taking "substantial steps to tackle the unacceptable problem of illegal migration".

Around 50 people were seen landing on the beach at Dungeness in Kent after crossing in one dinghy.

The group included women and young children.

It comes after eight boats carrying 241 migrants reached the UK on Sunday.

On Tuesday, there were further beach landings at Dungeness and Dover, further along the coast.

I always get confused about people's nationality.

For example, I have English parents but if I'd been born in, say, France or Spain would I still be English?

If my parents were working in another country and registered my birth in that county would I be English?

Could I be born abroad but registered in England and be English?

An older couple has returned home to the town in which they grew up and dated and eventually got married. They are driving around looking at the changes which have taken place in town when all of a sudden they come to one of their old hang out spots, which appears not to have changed at all. The wife says, "sweetheart, lets do the same thing we did here forty years ago!"

The husband stops the car, his wife backs against the fence, and he immediately leaps at her like a magnet attracting another.

They make love like never before. She is SCREAMING and GYRATING and SHAKING uncontrollably and when it is over, much to her husband's surprise, she faints!

After he revives her and gets her back into the car, the husband, quite astounded says: "darling', you sure never moved like that forty years ago-or anytime since that I can remember."

The women, gasping for breath, finally able to speak, says: "Forty years ago that friggin' fence wasn't electrified!"

The Government has announced plans to make it illegal for people to write or host fake reviews.

Which? Has said the plans should be "swiftly implemented".

Have you ever been caught out by fake reviews?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-57887035.amp

Actual racist comments aimed at Rashford, Saka and Sancho after the Euro final.
All the other abusive comments were mostly based on football rivalry.
Even the graffiti on Rashfords mural wasn't racist, according to the police.

So Prince Harry is writing his Memoirs. Lovely. I am sure it will be a fair,unbiased account of life leaving the royal family. Who will be buying ?

What can be done to rid Social Media of the racist scourge and make the humans behind the names/handles more accountable?

During the summer of 2021 petrol pumps will be changing. You can still use E5 petrol (97 + octane) which should still be obtainable from most filling stations labelled as E5.

However there will be E10 petrol, consisting of 95 octane petrol containing up to 10% renewable ethanol (which will help to reduce CO2 emissions) on pumps labelled E10.

Here is the Government information about E10 petrol:
https://www.gov.uk/guidance/e10-petrol-explained

Here is a vehicle checker to see if your car is compatible with E10 petrol (most will be) :
https://www.gov.uk/check-vehicle-e10-petrol

A bloke goes into a bar alone, orders a pint, and sits by the bar to drink it. It is a quiet night, with only one couple sitting by a table some distance away.

While he takes a sip of his pint, he hears a voice whisper, "Mmm, nice tie!"

He looks round, but he is alone. He takes another sip, and hears a voice say, "Mmm, nice suit!"

He looks round quickly, but he is completely alone.

He peers over the bar but there is no sign of the barman or anyone else. He is more than a little bemused.

As he takes his third sip, he hears the same voice say, "Mmm, nice haircut!"

At this point he is completely spooked and calls out to the barman, who emerges from the back room.

He explains what has happened.

The barman replies, "Yes sir, don't worry. It's only the peanuts - they are complimentary."

Boris having press conference at 5. Don't tell me, freedom day today - complete lockdown next Monday 🤣

This reminded me of my own children

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMdpo1G1m/

“Panorama” tonight. 1,000s of race horses regularly slaughtered. Sickens me the way people, including a lot of drunken men and women at the races, who go betting on these beautiful animals, and Greyhounds with some ending up boiled alive in China, but most haven’t a clue or even care what happens to them afterwards. One thing in the Queen’s favour, her horses always have a good life after their money making days are over. When trainers say horses get a great life, treated well, oh yes until they’re no longer any use. No Freedom Day for them unless they have an exceptional pedigree.
God I hate this cruel world ... children and animals being abused daily.

This woman was in Australia to take part in Big Brother.
She has refused to comply with mask wearing regulations and said she would open her hotel room door naked and without a mask to scare the staff.
The TV company has confirmed that she has been sacked from the programme.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-57883692.amp

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-57878910

Should he be allowed to start speaking publicly again?

Have you changed anything yourself or noticed anything different?

Are you still taking any of the precautions you were or have you opened up completely?

To me there is no difference between today and yesterday. I will still buy and use masks as I have been and sanitising wherever I go.

GRAHAM BRADY, Chairman of the Tory 1922 Committee

A few highlights for anyone who thinks the article is too long to read.

“Almost nobody is asking the serious questions about whether facemasks are actually effective in stopping the spread of Covid. Until very recently, both the World Health Organisation and the public health authorities in this country were saying there was very little evidence in favour of wearing them.”

“The experience of different US states is instructive. California covered up and Florida didn’t, but it was the Sunshine State that emerged in better shape from the pandemic.”

“Many (UK) politicians and advisers will admit privately that the policy change compelling people to wear masks was not really about the spread of infection at all but about the psychological effect that they would have. That real purpose is social control – to provide a constant reminder to maintain distance from other people. To maintain a state of anxiety that leaves people more likely to comply with the restrictions that might otherwise be resisted or forgotten.”

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-9798365/GRAHAM-BRADY-believe-real-purpose-masks-social-control-time-stop-fear.html

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-9795569/Statins-cut-risk-severe-Covid-19-study-finds.html

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-9790983/Worlds-3D-printed-steel-footbridge-unveiled-Amsterdams-Red-Light-District.html

• A gay man alleged he had been ripped off by a drug dealer because of his sexuality.
• In Norfolk, a Portuguese national said an unknown person had deliberately left a burger bun on their driveway ‘due to their ethnicity’.

In total, 10,840 non-crime hate incidents were logged last year, bringing the total in the past five years to 120,000 – but Freedom of Information requests sent to 43 police forces in England and Wales failed to identify a single crime that had been solved as a result.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9798849/Man-gets-racial-hatred-police-record-whistling-Bob-Builder-theme-tune.html

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9799771/Child-killer-Colin-Pitchfork-WONT-sex-offenders-register-freed-days.html

The last post on Silverstone was closed before I saw it.

141,000 people (mainly) driving to Silverstone to see big boys’ Scalextric. In view of the desperate need to reduce greenhouse gas emissions from all sources, is it time to stop motor sports or at least stop vast numbers travelling to see events?
The same principle applies to other mass attendance events.

He won’t be self isolating as he is now taking part in a new trial - how convenient

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/global-health/science-and-disease/coronavirus-news-covid-cases-lockdown-deaths-nhs-app/

I know a couple of people that really can’t cope with moving stairways or elevators.

An old link but the same concern
140,000 people, no social distancing a day before restrictions are removed. Following in the footsteps of the football ⚽️ and with numbers of positive cases now at 40,000 a day.

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2021/jun/24/british-grand-prix-to-take-place-in-front-of-140000-crowd-at-silverstone

Would you like to be there?

Haven’t seen this on National TV so apologise if others have!

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/jailed-pc-21-years-service-21080250.amp

Do we still trust the police? Does it make us concerned 😟 or worried?

A mother, father and young son are visiting the circus. The elephants walk out into the circus ring and the little boy says to his mother, "What's that?"

"That's the elephant's tail," she replies.

"No, under the tail," says the youngster.

The mother is clearly embarrassed and says, "Oh, it's nothing."

The boy turns to his father and repeats the same question. His father looks and says, "That's the elephant's penis, son."

"So, why did mum say it was nothing?" asks the boy.

The father draws himself up to his full height and says, "Son, I've spoiled that woman."

Today in Wilko I was behind a man who was returning some items for a refund. Apparently his wife had already bought what was needed, so he was returning unopened his items. He also had the receipt. The total value was £32.
The checkout woman walked away with the receipt , maybe to talk to a manager, then came back. She said, "it's shop policy, but we cannot give refunds over £30". So the man said, "ok, I will keep these paintbrushes, then you can refund me for the rest". She said, "I'm not allowed to do that, I have to refund the whole receipt.". So he said, "what do I do, how do I get a refund?" She said, "You have to go to our larger Swanley branch, they will give you a full refund".

I can imagine now him going up to the customer service desk in Swanley and being told, "you bought these at Orpington, you have to go there for your refund".

A paper bag goes to the doctor and complains of feeling really ill. The doctor does a lot of tests and tells the paper bag to come back next week for the results.

The following week the paper bag is extremely distressed to be told by his doctor that he is HIV positive.

"But how can this be" he cries, "I'm only a paper bag".

"Well have you had unprotected sex in the last year" asks the doctor."

No, how can I?? he shouts "I'm only a paper bag"

"How about sharing needles, giving blood, anything like that"

"I've said to you before" the paper bag sobs "how can I, I'm only a paper bag"

"Ahhhh" says the doctor shaking his head sadly "as I suspected your mother must have been a carrier"

Claims it is a mild dose so far!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-57874744

Posted here as people come from all over to visit Bluewater.
A2 near Bluewater between Bean and Gravesend to close for weekend due to bridge replacement
https://www.kentonline.co.uk/dartford/news/a2-to-close-for-weekend-near-bluewater-250814/

Joe Biden has stated that Social Media sites should not be available for the spread of mis-information and disinformation.

Claiming that "The only pandemic we have is among the unvaccinated." Biden has described the people who were mis-informing the public about the value of vaccination as "killing people."

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-57870778

Due to a gradual increase in cases of the Beta (South African) variant, fully vaccinated people returning from France to both England and Wales will still need to quarantine for ten days from Monday. They will also need to be tested on days two and eight.

This will be contrary to the lifting of rules for similarly vaccinated travellers returning from elsewhere in Amber zones.

It, therefore, looks as though the government will be monitoring what is happening abroad and will be selective in how to deal with returning travellers even after the end of most Covid related restrictions.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-57869880

A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

"What's going on here?' he says.

"I'm think I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialling, his 4-year old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy!, Uncle Ted's hiding in your wardrobe and he's got no clothes on!"

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his best pal, totally naked, cowering on the wardrobe floor.

"You IDIOT!!!," says the husband, "my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked and scaring the kids!"

In the past and when doing online health tests, I've been asked what my activity level is, ie low, medium, high. I never know what to say. I walk rather than drive, do a lot of gardening, play sports on Wii fit - it's more energetic than you might think - plus do the usual housework etc.

Is there a website/chart that's a bit more specific than just a picture of someone walking/exercising?